So much of society’s cruelty toward fat people isn’t really about “health.”
- It’s about fear.
- It’s about distance.
- It’s about power.
Weight stigma continues to thrive because at its core is a dangerous belief: that being fat is a choice.
We believe that if someone is just told they’re fat—mocked, bullied, or shamed—they’ll suddenly be motivated to change their body. There’s this deeply misguided idea that fat people are unaware of their size, and that cruelty will somehow act as a wake-up call.
Spoiler: fat people know they’re fat.
And cruelty doesn’t lead to transformation—it leads to trauma.
Christy Harrison, author of “The Wellness Trap” and “Anti-Diet” (both excellent reads), wrote:
“Weight stigma has been shown to pose a greater risk to your health than what you eat.”
Yet, our belief that we must tell fat people they are fat is how we justify the abuse. We slap the label of “health concern” onto our judgments and call it care.
We say things like “I’m just worried about their health” to comfort ourselves in our bigotry, to make the bullying feel noble.
But deep down, we know how fat people are treated. We’ve seen it. Many of us have lived it or been the abuser.
We even turn that cruelty inward, punishing ourselves for gaining weight or not being thin enough. That’s internalized weight stigma—and it’s everywhere.
And here’s where it gets even more uncomfortable:
We perpetuate weight stigma to protect ourselves from becoming the target.
We know what happens to people in larger bodies—how they’re dismissed, mocked, excluded, denied dignity. So, we distance ourselves from fatness in any way we can. We cling to thinness like it will save us. We buy into body hierarchy to stay “on the right side” of acceptance.
Weight stigma becomes a tool for survival.
- “If I mock that body, I won’t be seen as that body.”
- “If I lose weight, I’ll finally belong.”
- “If I reject fatness, I’ll be safe.”
People who have lost weight can sometimes be the harshest toward those in larger bodies, not because they’re “better,” but because they’re desperately trying to stay in the in-group. To lock in the privilege they’ve fought so hard to access. To not be cast out again.
But the truth is: Fat people are not the problem. Weight Stigma is.
This isn’t just personal insecurity. It’s the result of generations of conditioning that taught us fatness equals failure.
It’s the product of systems that uphold white supremacy, capitalism, ableism, and patriarchy by valuing only certain kinds of bodies and punishing the rest.
We must stop pretending that cruelty is a motivator. It’s not. It’s violence.
And it has no place in healthcare—or anywhere else.
There are a million reasons why people try to separate themselves from fatness. But the method we’ve been taught for achieving that distance is almost always the same:
- Dehumanize those who live in fat bodies.
- Reinforce the systems that punish them.
- And call it “care.”
We can do better. We must do better.
“Then Just Don’t Be Fat” Is Not a Health Plan—It’s Harm
Telling people “just don’t be fat” is the message society screams at people in large bodies. It’s weaponized in medical offices, dinner tables, and Instagram comment sections every single day.
But guess what: You cannot tell someone to simply “stop being fat” any more than you can tell someone to “just stop having asthma.”
Body size is not willpower or choices—it’s biology, trauma, environment, access, chronic stress, and the very systems we live in.
Body size and health are largely products of Structural and Social Determinants of Health.
Structural determinants of health encompass all the systems we discussed earlier. These systems create social stratification and health disparities. (Solar, 2019). They include:
- Income
- Race/ethnicity
- Gender
- Rural/Urban communities
Structural determinants of health inform and influence social determinants of health.
Social determinants of health are tied to the social acceptance and support people experience, as well as how these factors influence their health. They include:
- Access to nutritious foods
- Access to quality healthcare
- Quality housing/safe neighborhoods
- Education level and availability of education
“The structural and social determinants of health (SSDH) together account for over half of the population health outcomes and are the single greatest contributor to individual health, exceeding the impact of genetics and personal behavior (Hood et al., 2015).”
When someone lives in a larger body, it is not a failure of character. It reflects a complex, interwoven set of factors, most of which are outside their control.
The “Intentional Weight Loss” Trap
Studies show that 95–97% of people who lose weight through dieting will regain it within 2–5 years. And up to two-thirds will regain more than they lost (Mann et al., 2007).
This isn’t because people are lazy or undisciplined.
It’s because the body is designed to protect you and keep you alive. It responds to restriction, stress, and underfeeding by slowing its metabolism, increasing hunger signals, and storing more energy in the long term. This is not a failure. It’s human biology doing what it’s meant to do.
So when we say “just lose weight,” we’re pushing people into a cycle of shame, weight regain, and physiological harm.
Here are some facts to consider:
- There is no causal evidence showing the link between higher body weight and disease or premature death (O’Hara, 2006; O’Hara, 2018; Hunger, 2020).
- BMI is not supported by empirical evidence as a measure of an individual’s health (Nuttall, 2015).
- “There is considerable evidence that the focus on weight and weight loss is linked to diminished health (Tylka, 2014).”
- Dieting causes long-term weight gain in 95-98% of participants (Tribole, 2017).
- 1 in 4 dieters progress to a clinical eating disorder (number likely higher, as many never get diagnosed) (Brooks, 2022).
- Healthcare focused on weight intensifies stigma and leads to increased internalization of shame, and worsening health outcomes (Brown, 2022; Phelan, 2015; Rubino, 2020; Wu, 2018).
What About Weight Loss Drugs and Surgeries?
Currently, the world is fixated on quick fixes: Ozempic, Wegovy, and bariatric surgeries. But these options are not safe, accessible, or appropriate for everyone, and they come with real risks:
- Weight loss medications can cause nausea, muscle loss, malnutrition, disordered eating/eating disorders, and long-term unknown effects. Most require lifelong use to maintain weight loss. This is often not feasible due to financial reasons and/or frustrating side effects.
- Weight loss surgeries permanently alter a person’s anatomy and digestion, often result in vitamin/mineral deficiencies, and can trigger lifelong complications, both physical and psychological. These surgeries are often given without proper screening for an eating disorder and leave patients far worse off with their disorder after the surgery. Additionally, they put the person at high risk of developing alcohol abuse disorders.
What’s even more dangerous: None of these options addresses the real issue—weight stigma.
You can’t prescribe away a system that tells people they must shrink themselves to be safe.
You can’t cut out a stomach to fix a society that refuses to respect all bodies.
Telling someone they must change who they are to avoid abuse is not care. It’s coercion.
Telling someone who is disabled to stop being disabled if they want better treatment is ludicrous, yet we do this to fat people every. single. day.
Additionally, even if someone chooses to use one of these interventions, our expectations are often flawed. The body can only lose so much weight before it begins to resist further weight loss. A 300-pound person who loses 100 pounds is still a person in a 200-pound body. Not everyone can become a size 0.
So when we say, “just lose weight,” what we are really saying is, “Conform or suffer.” And that’s not a concern for someone’s health. That’s violence.
The answer isn’t forcing people to change their bodies. The answer is changing the systems that punish certain bodies in the first place. It’s providing access to inclusive, trauma-informed, culturally relevant care. It’s healing our relationships with food, movement, and self-worth, outside the pressure to shrink.
It’s acknowledging that health can be pursued (or not!) at any size, and no one should be shamed for their body, ever.
So, no—”just don’t be fat” is not a solution. It’s a lazy excuse for continued harm. And it’s time we called it what it is.
If you are looking for personalized support and some easier ways to implement and focus on doing things that support your health and your body. I would love the opportunity to work with you through this journey. It’s easy to get started. Contact IFXN to schedule your consultation today!
